7 Ways the INFJ Acts Naive to Get What They Want
With a complex mind and knack for deep, meaningful conversations, INFJs often feel the need to dumb-down their preferred way of interacting when it comes to their day-to-day method of communication. They play dumb and use their naive facade to not only make others feel more comfortable around them, but more importantly, to get what they want..
1. To observe if someone’s story remains consistent
INFJs are the ultimate investigators. By not only picking up the slightest of people’s nervous-bodily gestures, but also gathering the slightest changes in one’s story, INFJs love to tune-into their suspicions of people.
Thanks to their intuitive senses, INFJs are able to follow their gut feelings by following through with their own form of investigations, without the slightest suspicions of the other person. Their stealthy process of examination can play out for days, weeks or even years by testing their suspicions slowly but surely over time.
They not only gain the truth of who someone is but also how credible, genuine and trustworthy they are as an individual, and they do this by simply seeming naive to the information they already know. They will ask questions they already know the answers to, observe that individual reiterating an experience they were a witness to, and may even ask them to repeat a story that they’ve heard about that individual to hear it from their point of view. By playing dumb in these scenarios they’re able to connect the pieces to gain a fool-proof perspective that is based on multiple aspects.
2. To seem less serious and more approachable
One of the main reasons INFJs are notorious for despising small talk is simply due to the fact that they can’t fully be themselves when there is no depth and emotion present. In reality, if the INFJ approached every conversation and interaction with the depth and intensity they prefer, most people wouldn’t be able to handle feeling so vulnerable.
This is because the knowledge thirsty INFJ loves to get to the bottom of why people are the way they are, including the difficulties they’ve faced and are currently facing. This is where they get their name of being the advocate and counselor of the MBTI.
This is what drives the INFJ and a lot of their choices in life. However, because of this natural intensity, they can easily scare people off..and luckily they’ve come to realize this about themselves over time.
And so, they must mitigate this preferred way of interacting in order to maintain the kind and approachable aura they hope to emit. Once the INFJ has tested the waters of their conversational opponent, then they may unleash their true selves, and this is where the INFJ becomes a whole lot more interesting.
3. To escape the unofficial role of the accountable leader
Ask any INFJ who works in a team setting and they’ll tell you that overtime they’ve somehow adopted the role of being the ‘go-to’ team member. Whether they’re being compensated for this unofficial role or not, their driven and perfectionstic nature makes them the one that other’s automatically rely on to carry the load.
When there’s an INFJ in the group, others naturally feel a little more at ease, and consequently for the INFJ, these other group members feel safe to let them take the reins. Usually, the INFJ doesn’t mind, however, in certain circumstances - including when they’re reaching burnout and are avoiding asking others to take some of the responsibilities off of them - they can end up resorting to the weapon of a naive facade in order to give themselves a break.
This can be seriously difficult for the INFJ considering they naturally like to prove themselves and their work abilities for the appeasement of others. But when their much-needed times of solitude and recharge time is being jeopardized, they need to make the necessary moves to recalibrate. And unfortunately, since they try to avoid confrontation and conflict at all costs, they turn to a less-invasive approach of just seeming less capable.
4. To avoid making others feel embarrassed
Thanks to the INFJ’s extraverted sensing function, this observant personality type picks up on the subtlest of details, gestures, body language and..to other’s misfortune, all the embarrassing moments people hope nobody witnessed.
Sure, with their ability to pick up on the nuances of their everyday life and the people in it, they’re able to gain a deeper understanding of their surroundings and how to better mold their energy to cater to their immediate environment. However, this keen ability also comes with its downsides.
In fact, the worst part of it all is that their extraverted sensing function combined with their extraverted feeling function makes feeling second hand embarrassment all the more difficult to bear. And so.. In times that they witness someone making a faultless, but embarrassing human error, if they can, they’ll do whatever it takes to play it off as if they were simply minding their own business.
While they don’t necessarily play dumb in this case to ‘get what they want’, they do make the move to avoid something they don’t want..and that’s to make others feel embarrassed even in the slightest.
5. To avoid making others feel inferior
Similar to secondhand embarrassment, INFJs can’t stand making people feel less-than or in the same sense, making themselves feel better than anyone else. With the understanding that every human comes with their own strengths, if the INFJ can sense a positive moral ground they rarely judge others and their perceived shortcomings.
Despite their highly critical and often perfectionistic nature, INFJs love to boast others’ accomplishments and at the same time, play-down their own. In fact, if there’s one thing that makes the INFJ feel more uncomfortable than being put in the spotlight, it would be having to boast about themselves and their achievements.
And so, to avoid making it seem as if they’re fishing for compliments, bragging, or being less humble than they really are, INFJs often resort to playing dumb. By simplifying their gifts, belittling the roles they have at work, and even leaving out their proudest memories, this unassuming personality type acts purposefully naive in these moments, with no underlying drive to compete. Which brings us to our next point
6. To connect on a more relatable level
One of the very reasons INFJs avoid boasting and prodding for validation is because they like to approach every social interaction being as relatable as possible. This is one of the social chameleon INFJ’s tactics to seamlessly fit into the energy surrounding just about any social group.
The main ingredient to their subconscious strategy is to come in as neutral as possible by taking the back seat in the conversation before sharing their unique views. However, these unique opinions and viewpoints can be considered quite complex, and maybe even a little far fetched for the average person.
And so, sometimes they’re forced to hold them back and remain as seemingly naive as possible. In reality, the INFJ is usually miles ahead of someone’s thoughts when conversing. Sometimes they’ll resort to avoiding contributing to a conversation all together, but since this brain-picking type craves to know the depths of the human mind, they take the necessary steps and combine it with their unwavering patience in order to extract the information they’re yearning for. And lastly..
7. To avoid oversharing
While the INFJ does try their very best to seem as relatable as possible, they simultaneously try to avoid sharing too much about themselves. Despite their best efforts at matching other’s experiences with their own while at the same time using metaphorical comparisons, INFJs will simplify their own experiences in order to avoid going into too much detail.
Like we mentioned before, despite their deep curiosity for unraveling the complexity of other people’s minds, they’re also extremely private about their own lives. So, by making their best efforts to remain as mysterious as possible while at the same time ironically not understanding why people don’t understand them, INFJs allow others to take over the conversation while they sit back and happily observe.
By playing dumb even to the things they may already know about the person, they're able to gauge their perspective while seeing the world through another person’s lenses. Plus, through their silent and observant presence, they usually set the tone for others to lay it all out, which wouldn’t happen if they were monopolizing the conversation or giving off know-it-all vibes.
So, do you think you purposefully dumb-down your intelligence in certain circumstances as an INFJ?